I have read and re-read–in random magazines, books, heard on the television–how scent is linked to memory. I believe this to be true, having experienced the sensation myself, but I also believe aural sensations are highly undermined. For me, hearing a song from years past is reminiscent of seeing an excerpt or a page from that chapter of my life. It can make me feel strong, heady emotions of the era in question.
2007 was an unusual, but significant year for myself. I finally left an abusive relationship, re-invited an old friend into my life, expanded my freedom, met my future husband and at the same time let myself go entirely wild. When I think of that year, I recall the tumultuous road my life had been. My foolishness appears more carefree in reminiscing; the hormones and crushes ruling my body and stifling my mind, the late nights of work turn into parties and early exams. The make up, the bars, the dancing, sitting in a friend’s cramped apartment with 10 other people–most of which smoking, leaving the air putrid, a constant cloud swirling above us. Climbing fences and buildings at night when most were in bed… Those were honestly some of the best times I’ve had. I think will always look back on those times as some of my best.
One of the greatest men I ever had the pleasure to meet was still apart of that fragile world, my best friend and her littler brother lived a few blocks from me, rather than hours, I had a disposable income and a credit card. I was immature and acted a fool, life was lived for the pleasure of present. I made a lot of mistakes, but without them, I couldn’t be who I am today.
I dedicate this song to Sarah, we constantly listened to this band in the fall of 2007, cruising around Point in my Grand Am, spending late night’s at Tim and Clare’s, driving to Rothschild to visit Jeff and go to “The Bar”. The times I went to Southpoint with Nate and Nanyque, late nights at Toppers, playing World of Warcraft with Adam and Craig, sitting on their living-room floor. This defines a small point in my life, like a punctuation mark. I could see it as an exclamation point, but it would more likely be an ellipsis. A brief pause, waiting to go on, to continue with the subject… But things changed, life took a few turns, many of us taking different paths.
Tim got cancer, for the second time. After his death his wife left town, his ghosts were unbearable to her. Sarah changed jobs and moved away and so did her brother. Jeff and I moved twenty miles north and several more friends moved on as well. We all have different jobs and goals in life, and when a few of us manage to get together and raise a glass or pour a drink for a friend, it is short-lived. More of a vigil than a gathering of friends. Yet, when I listen to this song I feel as though those moments continue to move on, even if just in the recesses of our minds. And I can see it. The wind whipping through the car window, chilling the stale air, tangling my hair. Laughing with the music cranked, Sarah in my passengers seat and Matt in the back… Wishing that the night would never end…